Met him tonight in Air. It was just a handshake and small talk but it was kind of funny I guess.
I got there bla bla, I guess nobody wants to hear about my day of hard work.
I got to Air super early and did a Fashion Makeover in a 1x1 Bathroom. It took me like an hour but I did my hair, make up and changed clothes.
I waited near the bar and he came at about 2:00 am. I couldn’t do anything more than just stare at an infinite point near him but not directly to him because it made me feel very embarrassed. He walked in and out of the VIP room and stayed most of the time 2mts away from me. At a certain moment he was walking right straight to me but I realized I was on his way (looked like he wanted to access the bar) so I moved then he did his business at the bar and just got back into the VIP room and didn’t come out again. I felt relieved for not seeing him for 20 minutes but also sad and miserable about my shy behavior. Disgusted. I am not usually like that. I felt like a stalker and was so embarrassed that just turned around and looked at the wall.
Then many people came with party hats and they had 3 birthday cakes (Besides Koshijima san, I heard it was the birthday of the Manager of Ageha) (Maybe someone else’s birthday too) and I thought that Koshijima san was inside for sure but I missed her when she got in.
I felt so embarrassed of being there, alone, not having anyone to even pretend to chat. Actually I had a friend there but he was busy with other things and I was alone most of the time.
Thanks god it was almost 2:40, the time he was supposed to start playing.
I went to the dancefloor and listened to the music, it was more crowded than ever but still it was very easy to walk and get to the front. As I said in previous reports, there is no fence in Air, just a short glass and that’s it. I stayed back and cheered from my spot comfortably 3 mts away. When Koshijima san appeared, I went almost to the very front but there were people waving their arms almost touching her. I didn’t like that so I stayed back. She sang 3 songs and then he played the new Kylie Minogue’s remix and they were finished. Koshijima san was as beautiful as in the pictures and videos, the only moment she didn’t smile was when drinking. She is so petite and cute that looks like a doll.
I was hot after jumping and dancing so came back to the bar where I was before. Nakata san and Koshijima san were there. My friend appeared and cheered me to speak but I couldn’t even articulate a word. Both of them, there, it looked like a dream. I did nothing and just pretended to look at the fine details of the lamps hanging from the roof and the rustic-style floor. By now, I can write a thesis about the celling and floor of Air.
Later Nakata san, Koshijima san, Army san and another blonde girl were chatting at the bar. I couldn’t move, I was paralyzed. That went on for like an hour. Eventually Koshijima san went back to the VIP room and some other guy joined Nakata and they talked for a while. My friend was getting impatient and then the lights were turned on because the party was over. I was like SHIT AGAIN I COULDN’T TALK TO HIM and my friend wanted to put an end to this so he just went to the guy who was with Nakata san and talked to him but I was right there so I could hear everything. He said that I was very shy and always went to see Nakata san and wanted to say Hi. His friend was very sweet and told me I shouldn’t be nervous and before I could even blink he turned around and said to Nakata san that I wanted to say Hi because I was a fan from Argentina.
What. The. Fuck.
He walked one step towards and looked at me and just said どうもありがとうございます。(Thank you very much)
I didn’t feel/say anything. It was like being asleep. Or dead. My heart stopped and I just looked at him, then at the floor an then looked back at him. And said thank you. I was the one thankful.
I practiced this so many times in my head and at that moment I just looked at the floor and couldn’t speak.
Uncomfortable silence. These 3 guys (Nakata, his friend and my friend) were looking at me and I was red in the face looking at the FUCKING floor. I could hear their thoughts and they were saying ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT. And then Nakata san showed me both palms of his hands, so small and beautiful and I looked at them and looked at him and I just gave him a handshake and he grabbed me with the other hand too and I thought JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS GUY OFFERED ME BOTH HANDS AND I JUST TOOK ONE, WHY I AM SO STUPID and I started saying just thank you very much for everything until now, I really like your music and many things that just flowed naturally from me and I looked at him and he smiled and I smiled and the time stopped and I was thinking WE ARE SMILING AND HOLDING HANDS (well, it was just a handshake really XD) and it was just one second but I seemed like eternity and then I thought that maybe I am sweating my hands and It might be disgusting and I should just let him go.
I don’t know how I had the face to ask him “Can we take a picture?” I don’t even know why I said that because until that time I was convinced that if this moment ever came into my life I was sure he was going to say NO. But I just asked that without thinking and he didn’t say anything and looked at his friend and very very politely said that it wasn’t possible and I said that I understood and apologized for asking and they said that it was no problem and shouldn’t worry. I felt very, very, very embarrased and thought that maybe I had another chance because when I go to see him sometimes I bring my copy of CAPS LOCK in my bag and thought well maybe he can just sign it but then regreted and didn’t ask for anything else. It is also very embarrassing to confess that many many times (not always!) bring my copy of CAPS LOCK but well, now that I am saying the whole story it is important that everybody knows that I always had the hope that this day ever came and I am very happy even though I didn’t get any souvenir other than this memory. (This morning checked for the first time and the marker I always carry around is not permanent so… I am glad that I didn’t use it)
To change the subject, He told me when I saw him -because my friend previously had said that I always go to see him DJing but last time in Air on his birthday I couldn’t go because I was sick- and I said (TERRIBLY EMBARRASSED) that I went to Club Asia and Ageha many times to see him and that I always go when I can and then they tried to remember when is it going to be the next time he plays and suddenly Nakata san said to me 「こんど、カンパイしましょう！」(Let’s have a toast/drink something next time) and I was like “yeah sure”. And then he said that again and I was like OK, GOD PLEASE KILL ME ALREADY. Even it was said just for being polite and he didn’t mean it really I was dying inside and I will be looking forward that even if it never ever ever ever happens.
I was ready to leave because I thought ok now is bye bye time and just bowed again and then he said something like “Wow this is such Wide world right? From Argentina? So far!” And I was thinking that I was so honored that he knew where my insignificant country was and then he said “Wasn’t Chile the country that had a President Nikkei?” and someone said that it was Brazil and then I said that it was Peru and they were like yeah yeah you are right and I was like ARE WE TALKING ABOUT INTERNATIONAL POLITICS OR WTF? I CAN SPEAK ABOUT ANYTHING YOU WANT, IN ANY LANGUAGE YOU WANT.
And then Nakata san said that I spoke Japanese very well and I said that not really and I remembered ALL THESE JAPANESE PEOPLE UNTIL NOW SAYING THAT I SPEAK JAPANESE VERY WELL AND THIS IS THE LAST PERSON I EVER THOUGHT I COULD HEAR THAT FROM and I just smiled and he asked me how long I have been living in Japan and I said almost 2 years and he asked me that if in 2 years I learned to speak so well? and then I thought OMG DID I JUST SAID 2 MONTHS INSTEAD OF 2 YEARS??? DID I??? TOO LATE TO CORRECT, MOVE ON AND KEEP CHATTING and then he made a comment and everybody laughed and I didn’t get a word of what he said but I laughed too.
Then he made a comment about the size of my glasses which are super big and at that point I just wanted to RUN AWAY because I realized that he had looked at my face long enough to realize that my glasses were huge. I just smiled and said nothing and -again- everybody laughed.
At that time I just wanted to leave. I was standing here just next to him, saying nothing and feeling extremely uncomfortable… it was the best and worst moment of my life. I managed to look at his shoulder he is just as short as me. Same height. I already measured that the last time I saw him there two months ago. Then, again the blond girl came and talked to Nakata san and his friend and I could breath again because they left like 2 steps away from me. I said to my friend that I was leaving already and thanks for giving me the strength to talk and he said “Aren’t you waiting for Koshijima san? She is in the VIP room, I am sure she is about to come out! Just wait a minute” I was melting inside and meeting Koshijima san was much more than what my heart could bare. I waited 2 minutes and said to my friend that I needed to go even though I would have loved to meet her. He didn’t understand me, I didn’t understand was wrong with me and just bowed and ran away.
It is 8:30 in the morning, the party ended over 3 hours ago and here I am, still fully dressed, all my make up on, writing this. Sorry for the poor english, I just wrote everything as I remembered and I have been awake for 26 hours already… need to sleep but I really doubt I can…
In brief, Nakata san looks like a really nice and talkative person :) If there is ever a next time I promise I will stop behaving like a 12 year old girl.
PS: I am never going to wash this hand.